Stash Management

My goal today is to go through my entire stash, get rid of what I just won’t use and don’t really have a desire to use, and catalogue what I do want to keep in my Ravelry profile.

Thankfully my stash isn’t totally unmanageable at this point…

 

An unfortunate incident

Some of you know about this already, but last Friday (November 16th), I came home to discover that someone had broken into our home and stolen our laptops, digital cameras, Nathan’s iPod, and his XBox 360.

It was very disconcerting to see that someone had gone through all of our belongings and just strewn them about. Plus, they broke in through our bathroom window and it was really strange for me to know that someone had been in such a private part of our home, uninvited. It was even worse to see that they’d gone through my underwear!

Anyway, we’ve replaced a couple of the items already since I’ve got some homework to finish for Monday, but we thankfully have renters insurance, so we should be getting a check within a couple weeks so we can replace everything.

Thankfully there wasn’t much taken that isn’t replaceable. We had most of our pictures (all of our wedding and honeymoon pics) backed up. The biggest bummer is that they took a small lockbox that had our wedding video in it 😦 We haven’t even seen it cause it hadn’t been transferred to DVD or VHS yet.)

So, you won’t be seeing picture posts from me for a while! But I’m just glad that neither of us were hurt and that there wasn’t much that was irreplaceable taken.

Now I just have to deal with our landlords since the window they came in through was broken and we’d been trying to get it fixed for some time. *sigh*

 

Craziness!

Things have been nuts lately. Seriously. I’m gonna need some chocolate STAT!

I am sick of having a huge load of stuff to take care of, but it seems to never end right now. Thankfully work has been a little slower today.

Yesterday was a not-so-great day. Things are so messed up with Avon right now. They had my old address on file and my order got shipped there (a currently vacant house). BUT, it didn’t get delivered there. I checked. Nor did it get delivered to my correct address. I called Avon last night, but it was too late to get a hold of someone due to the wait. So I called this morning and the best they could do was re-ship it. And I wouldn’t get it till Tuesday or Wednesday of NEXT WEEK!!! ARGH! I may have it re-shipped anyway, but I am getting really frustrated with everything.

When I switched to Avon from mark. (a sub-company), I was supposed to get 50% earnings on the first few orders to help me jump-start my business. Well, I didn’t get it. I got the standard 20% due to my order size. I am so frustrated with this.

I have also not had the time to pack, clean, or organize for moving rooms. I’m gonna be sharing, so I really need to downsize A LOT. I really wish I had the money to buy a few more large plastic storage tubs, but I don’t right now. Sometime next month I’m gonna have a garage sale though and get rid of some crap.

On top of everything, Nathan and I have been getting on each others nerves this week, and while it’s all working out, it’s been stressful. I love Nathan to death, but this week has been a bit hard. With the grace of God, though, we always work things out. And the grace of God also prevents us from strangling each other! haha

I have to give the guy credit where credit is due though…he really takes good care of me (or at least tries his darndest!) and has done a lot of good things to help me out, like cook dinner and even run a couple errands. We just hit deeper nerves this week, I guess. But it’s good in the long run, because then these issues don’t fester and grow into huge problems.

Anyway, so much on my mind…I know that God will provide, I just have to stop worrying and stressing out, which is SO HARD for me sometimes…will I ever learn?

God, please help me learn to just trust you and not freak out!

~M

 

Mental Case My highly ADD boyfriend (who at times…

Mental Case

My highly ADD boyfriend (who at times flips through 50 different musical tracks in the space of 1 minute) has determined that I have a milder case of ADD.

Case in point, we were walking down the street and I was talking about a couple who lived in Uganda for 3 years so they could adopt a couple kids (it’s a requirement that anyone who adopts a child from Uganda has to live there for at least 3 years) and I interupted myself – midsentence-to say “ooh, the moon’s so pretty!”, then went right back into my sentence to finish my original thought. I do this often (as anyone can probably tell my reading some of my posts).

Other times, I think I have a touch of OCD. The combination of ADD and OCD has quite interesting manifestations…

For instance, my room is a complete disaster. Clothes lying around, boxes here and there…and not just because I’m getting ready to move rooms soon. However, if there is a drawer, cupboard, or closet door open, it will annoy the hell out of me until I close it. It makes no sense.

Regardless of what mental disorders I may or may not have, I don’t care. I am who I am and everyone can just deal with it. I’d like to think that most people rather enjoy my random idiosyncracies. 🙂

~M

 

Icky sickness Well, a bit has happened since my l…

Icky sickness

Well, a bit has happened since my last post. Friday, which was our 6-month anniversary, was kinda crappy for start off (not as far as our relationship is concerned, though, just other stuff) but we had a really nice evening together and then drove down to San Diego to visit Nathan’s parents for the weekend.

We had a really good trip, except that both of us came down with colds. Mine turned into a sinus infection when we got back (probably from lack of sleep since we got in town late).

I feel so drained, cause all this stuff is going on, plus I’m sick (and started my period on top of it all….blech). Thanksfully, I didn’t have to go to a doctor, cause Suzie, Nathan’s step-mom, gave me a prescription of antibiotics just in case (she works in a doctors office). God totally provided with that one!

Anyway, as much as things get crappy with the rest of my life, I never have to worry about Nathan and I. My family is being wierd about our relationship, and while I respect what they have to say, I am finding myself disagreeing with a lot of things. I feel like I’m not allowed to really be myself and my family doesn’t make much of an effort to understand where I’m coming from. They seem to have this view of me that is not correct and it’s frustrating. But I am not going to sacrifice who I am, or more importantly, who God is making me, to bend to their expections of me. They may have some things to say that I need to hear, but I just have to sift through it all and find what I need to hear and what is just their own opinions.

Sometime this weekend, I’m gonna be talking with my parents about some things that they want to discuss with me, and I’m afraid it’s gonna be another one of these “Here is what’s wrong with you” type conversations where I don’t get much opportunity to actually talk or give my side of things. Oh well. I just have to pray a lot about it all.

 

A Down Day I’m kinda feeling a little depressed t…

A Down Day

I’m kinda feeling a little depressed today. I think it’s a mixture of things. I kinda screwed up with something last night, I haven’t gotten enough sleep, and I’ve been pretty busy lately.

I really wish that I had a friend who is dating. All my close friends are single and unattached. I do have Katie to talk to, which is wonderful, though. She’s really easy to talk to about anything and has good advice. But I feel like in some ways I can’t completely relate to some of my friends anymore. And a few of my close friends are going through difficult situations and it’s kinda draining. I love being there for them, but I just feel a little lost at the moment, I guess.

Nathan is also wonderful, and I love having him to talk to, but I need my female friends, too, and it’s impossible for him to be everything to me.

This week has been quite busy as Nathan and I have spent a lot of time together. We had a really good time on Sunday and Monday talking about the fast and catching up with the week’s events. Things are so different now that he’s working and living someplace different. It’s kind of a good chance to “start fresh” so to speak, since he’s been taking more spiritual leadership, and general leadership, in our relationship. We stumble and make our mistakes, but we learn from them, and that’s the important thing. No mistake we’ve made has been earth-shatteringly awful or whatever.

Tonight it will be nice to have a bit of a break from things. Hopefully I can get together with someone and just chill and talk. I really wish I could just leave the office early today. *sigh*

Anyway, off to finish the workday….

~M

 

Interesting stuff… Well, the end of this fast h…

Interesting stuff…

Well, the end of this fast has certainly been interesting. Last night, I had an insteresting situation with a close friend of mine. Suffice it to say, I am really bummed about some choices she is making. They are not good and she will most likely be suffering the consequences (relationally, emotionally, mentally, possibly physically) for the rest of her life. I love her to death and it hurts me to see her doing this. She is even fully aware of how her heart is hardened to hearing God and that her choices are gonna have some HUGE ramifications. I can only pray that God will change her mind and heart VERY soon, before she starts telling people of her choices.

I talked with her for a couple hours or so after I realized something was wrong. I shared my heart and what I believe God wants to speak to her, but she was also honest with me about where she’s at. This is the second close friend of mine who has effectively turned away from God and his plan for her life because of a relationship. It goes much deeper than that, though, but the relationship seems to be the moment of decision. I am just praying that God brings her back to himself soon, before she loses her faith completely.

My heart just hurts so much. I honestly feel pretty drained right now, too. Another friend of mine is also dealing with some difficult things…repercussions of past events….and I can see how much she’s hurting too. The interesting thing is, both these girls are also comfortable with Nathan, and so between the two of us, we are able to minister to them in our own unique way and at the same time keep each other in the know about what’s going on so we can be more effective in how we love them.

Last night, with the whole thing going on with my friend, I ended up calling Nathan because I needed his input. I considered it an emergency and I don’t feel like it was compromising our week of fasting or anything. I realize how important Nathan is to my life, and that God really works through us as a team. He is such an encouragement to me and I feel that I’ve become a better person and grown closer to God because of him. I really do love him enough to say that I want to spend the rest of my life with him by my side.

Tomorrow morning we’re going to have breakfast (and I’m going to his house at 6:30…AM………ACK that’s early!!!) before I have to be at Church in the Park for the run-through and sound-check for worship at 8:30. Hopefully I can get to sleep soon, even though I slept in since I was up later than I expected last night.

I ended up having another dream last night about Nathan. I dreamt that we had gone down to visit his family and there was some Jewish holiday going on. I have no idea what it was, or even if it was a real Jewish holiday or something my sub-conscious made up. It was interesting because I was pretty much just hanging with Nathan and his family. A couple odd things happened here and there, but I don’t really remember much, except that I had this random conversation with a Rabbi while I was sitting on some steps. I just remember feeling comfortable, like things were right between me and Nathan and I was getting along well with his family. I think the fact that it was a Jewish holiday – with family and celebrations – was a symbol of how we will stay connected to Nathan’s dad’s side of the family. How we will get along and be a part of that side of his family, despite our differences in beliefs. I feel like that’s another confirmation that we are meant to be together and how God will work out all the traditional/religious aspects of Judaism that will affect how we relate to the Jewish side of his family.

I am also at peace about the whole education thing. I am looking forward to seeing what happens with FAFSA and what classes God will lead me to for this next year. I know whatever happens will be for the best, no matter what I feel about them at first.

Well, time for me to spend some more time with God before I hit the sheets! What a week it has been!

~M

 

Only 2 more days! Coming down the home stretch! Y…

Only 2 more days!

Coming down the home stretch! Yippee!

Let me just say, I think it’s only by the grace of God that I have not gone to Nathan’s blog to see how he is doing. I suppose that’s another trust thing – letting God take care of Nathan, since I can’t right now, and trust that he’s doing fine. I have heard from some of our mutual friends that he’s doing fine.

Last night, I had a really wierd dream about Nathan (my dreams are always pretty wierd). I dreamt I was at my family’s house getting ready to eat dinner. I was busy washing dishes when he stops by unexpectedly. Now, this happened in present time, so we were still not supposed to have any contact. My parents invite him to eat with us, and everything gets put on the table. I was feeling kinda wierd about it all, and so I’m still doing dishes, wondering why he stopped by without calling since he didn’t know I was there (not like him at all). I can’t remember exactly what he was doing, but he was acting sorta wierd.

Dinner is ready, and my family is all talking and Nathan is still acting sorta wierd, and I start getting upset (again, I can’t recall exactly why since I don’t remember what he was doing), but I was also acting a little out of character as well. I was getting quite upset, so I was taking out my anger on the dirty pans I was scrubbing. I end up yelling at Nathan, and tell him to stop acting so wierd and so on. And it was really not necessary on my part. The whole thing could have been resolved in a brief conversation alone.

It’s frustrating that I can’t remember some of the details, but I feel like the dream was sort of a cautionary tale. It’s easy for me to get bossy and think other people should act the way I want them to. But with Nathan, I have learned to step back and shut up more often. As he is growing in spiritual leadership (and other areas of leadership in our relationship), I need to step back and let him grow and lead, and sometimes make mistakes (even if I see them coming!). I have to surrender my desire to control, so that God can work in both of us. I need to surrender everything to God, and let him lead Nathan. For a time, I had to take leadership in certain areas, but that time is over.

I had asked for a dream from God before I went to sleep. It was an odd one, that’s for sure, but I think that the point hit home. I don’t ever want to be that way with Nathan. We are both human, and our flaws will become evident very clearly at times, but we have to keep ourselves close to God so that He has control over our lives and relationship.

I have learned more about spiritual leadership and exactly what that means through our relationship than anything else.

 

My dreams I’ve been thinking a lot about the futu…

My dreams

I’ve been thinking a lot about the future of my education and the dreams I believe God has given me. I’m debating either taking more time off school, or changing my classes so I can work more to pay off debt and save money.

It’s a challenging dilemma because our society places a huge emphasis on obtaining a degree; like you’re not really “good enough” or an intelligent person if you haven’t gotten that degree. But I think that sometimes God intends for some people to learn what they need to know in non-traditional ways, or learn things that can’t be taught in an academic school.

I really hope that I will be able to obtain a 4-year degree (even if it takes me 10 years!), but I know that if it’s in God’s plan for me, I will get my degree at the right time, from the right place, even if it’s not on my own timeline.

I also realized that getting a degree/not getting a degree isn’t the be-all end-all to pursuing my dreams.

Ultimately, my dream is to touch people’s lives with music–the songs I write, the music I play and sing. I want to be a person who God works through and blesses people through and I believe that is something that God has intended for me because I’ve seen how God has used those gifts. And I don’t need a degree to do that. Another huge, if not larger, dream of mine is to be a stay-at-home mom (not a stuck-at-home mom, though!). And I can see both happening simultaneously! There are so many possibilities that I doubt I can even think of them all!

It’s easy for me to get frustrated and feel like I’m never going to finish my degree – but really, deep down, I think I just have a fear of not realizing my dreams. But honestly, at the core of those dreams is the desire to be an ambassador of Christ to people, at home, in my community, and the world. No one needs a degree for that -and I don’t have to doubt that is God’s will, because that’s His will for all of us.

I have peace about whatever happens, even if it means not continuing with my music major classes for a season.

 

On the brain… As if it isn’t obvious enough, I …

On the brain…

As if it isn’t obvious enough, I have a major case of Nathan-on-the-brain. I was typing out a label for a file and I put “Nathan” as the client’s first name…..when it should have been Anthony. Oh boy, do I have it bad!!! haha 😀